Painkiller
by Ambrosiac1993
Summary: Dean is diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor that eventually claims his life. How does his husband Roman Reigns deal with the death? Rated M for major angst and possibly sex scenes in the later chapters. M/M slash. Possible Trigger Warning.


_6 months ago..._

 _"Roman...my head is killing me..." Dean whined. "It feels like my brain is going to explode.."_

 _"Did you take anything for it?" Roman asked his lover._

 _"Yeah about an hour ago.."_

 _"Do you want to go to the hospital?"_

 _"Y-yeah..."_

 _Roman nodded and picked up his husband, carrying him to the car. As they drove to the hospital, Roman kept looking over at Dean to see if he was okay. One particular time, Roman looked over just as Dean's eyes began to roll to the back of his head. Before Roman could say anything, Dean's body began to convulse. Roman cringed, not sure what to do. He pulled over to the side of the road. He set Dean's seat back so it was all the way down, then he laid Dean on his side. He felt tears sting his eyes. Why was Dean even having a seizure? He wasn't epileptic. He frowned._

 _After a few minutes, Dean finally stopped seizing. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Roman standing over him crying. He was confused. Why was Roman crying? Roman never cried. It took a lot of strength, but Dean was able to ask, "Baby, why are you crying?"_

 _Roman wiped his eyes and said, "You...had a seizure.."_

 _"I did?"_

 _Roman nodded solemnly and said, "We need to get you to the hospital as soon as possible!"_

 _Once at the hospital, they did a bunch of tests on Dean. Now they were sitting in the exam room, waiting for the results. The doctor walked in, a sad look on his face. "I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Mr. Ambrose, you...have an inoperable brain tumor. It's already so big that chemo and radiation won't help. I'm sorry, Mr. Ambrose, but you only have about six months to live."_

Present day...

Roman watched as his husband's breathing became labored. Dean was in his last days of living. Dean couldn't talk anymore, the tumor had grown too big. Roman didn't know how he was gonna be able to handle the death. Just then, the machines began to beep as Dean's heart rate slowed down. With tears in his eyes, Roman gave Dean one final kiss on the lips, whispering, "I love you...so fucking much...until we meet again..." He then went and got the doctor to take him off life support. Once back, Roman sobbed as the doctor began to unplug everything. Soon the monitor showed that Dean had flatlined. It was official...Dean was dead. Tears still streaming down his face, Roman gave his deceased husband a hug, and then had the doctor wheel Dean down to the morgue.

Desperate for someone to talk to, Roman dialed Seth's number. A sleepy voice answered. "Hello?"

"Seth...he...Dean...he...he's...gone!" Roman sobbed into the phone.

"Gone as in...?" He asked, terrified to say the last word.

"Yes...he's dead...Seth...I can't handle the pain! I knew this day would come when we got the diagnosis...but I didn't think it would be this painful..."

Seth didn't know what to say, he was just as devastated as Roman. Dean was his best friend and now he was gone. He felt tears streaming down his own face. "Are...are you going to tell Vince? You know, they'll do the bell tolls for him."

"I... I don't know... I don't even think I will be able to wrestle anymore...it'll remind me too much of Dean..."

"Roman..."

"Seth...because of this, the Shield will never reunite now... I can't go on living when the love of my life is dead...I need... I need something to take the pain away..."

"Wanna go out for drinks...?"

"I...don't know... I don't think alcohol will be strong enough to get rid of the pain..."

"Ro..."

"Why couldn't it have been me to get cancer and die? It's not fair...I miss him..."

"I know you do. I miss him too.."

"Well...I'm going to go home and sob into my pillow...I'll talk to you later...maybe..." With that, Roman hung up.

As Roman was about to leave hospital room, the doctor came in. "Mr. Reigns, I've got a few questions to ask you."

"What are they?"

"Are you planning on getting Mr. Ambrose cremated or not?"

"No."

"How soon are you going to start planning the funeral arrangements?"

"I don't fucking know...can't I get a few days to grieve the loss of my husband?"

"You can, but the longer you take to get a funeral done, the more it's gonna cost to keep his body embalmed longer."

"Ugh...I know...just give me a couple days, okay?" Roman begged.

"Alright, last question. Which funeral home do you want him sent to?"

Roman sighed and told him which funeral home. "Can I go now?"

"Yes, you can."

Roman grabbed his things and ran out of the hospital, trying to fight more tears that threatened to fall. Once he got to his car, he grabbed his phone. He had to call Vince and let him know about Dean's passing. He dialed the number, waiting for his boss to answer. When Vince answered, Roman took a deep breath and said, "Mr. McMahon... I have some devastating news..." It was taking all his strength to not break down and cry. "Dean...he...he...he..." He just couldn't bring himself to say it. He broke down sobbing.

Vince frowned, asking, "He what?"

"You remember how he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor?"

"Yeah."

"Well...he passed away this evening.."

"Oh my god..."

"Just thought I would let you know...I'm going to go home now and sob into my pillow..."

"Roman...please, take as much time off as you need to." Vince said.

"To be honest, Mr. McMahon...I'm not sure if I will ever be able to wrestle again...seeing the ring will remind me too much of him.."

"Roman..."

"What? It's true, Mr. McMahon. Dean was the love of my life...I'm not sure what's gonna happen yet... I could just lose it and kill myself tonight... I don't know..."

"Please don't kill yourself, Roman..."

"I...I'll try not to...it just...Vince...it hurts so much..." Roman said, trying to not cry his eyes out.

Vince sighed, saying, "I know. But just think. Do you really think Dean would want you to kill yourself? No. He wants you to move on. Wants you to be happy. But here's what WWE will do. We will make a tribute to him, and in three days at Raw, we will show that tribute and ring the bell ten times. And yes, you have to be there."

"But...I'll end up having a breakdown on live TV..."

"Roman, you have to be there. Or else I'll suspend you indefinitely without pay."

Roman sighed, still trying to fight the tears. "Yes sir, I'll be there...if I'm even still alive... I gotta go..." With that, he hung up the phone and started the car. Driving back home, Roman cried the whole way there. Once he was home, he ran straight up to the bathroom, and ripped the blades out of his razor. He sliced them down his wrists quickly, not caring if he cut a major artery or not. Sobbing the whole time, he cut until he began to feel lightheaded. He looked at his arms, blood was pouring out at incredible speeds. He grabbed his phone, dialing Seth's number. As soon as Seth answered, Roman breathed out, "So...much...blood..." As soon as he said that, the phone dropped out of his hands as he passed out from the blood loss.

...

"Roman? Roman?! Shit!" Seth rushed to his car, starting it and speeding to Roman's house. When he got there, he entered the house, and called out for Roman, searching the whole house until he found Roman passed out in a pool of blood in the bathroom. He shook Roman, screaming, "Wake up! Wake up! For the love of God, please wake up, Roman!"

Suddenly, he heard a groan, and sighed in relief as Roman regained consciousness. "S-S-Seth?" He whispered.

"Why, Roman?"

"I... I wanted to be with Dean..."

"Roman...please...please don't...people need you...I need you..."

"But... I need Dean...don't my needs matter?"

"They do matter. But Roman, you can't go trying to kill yourself over one person. You have fans that need you, your parents and siblings need you, your coworkers need you. I need you."

"I just... I miss him so much..." Roman whispered.

"I know you do. Everyone misses him. Now come on. Let's see if these wounds need stitches or not." He helped Roman stand up and guided him to the bathtub, grabbing the shower head and bringing it down to Roman's arms as he turned the water on. Watching the blood flowing down the drain, Seth determined that while the cuts were pretty deep, they didn't need stitches, as they had already stopped bleeding.

Seth wrapped up Roman's arms with gauze and medical tape. He sighed, he had to get back to his house, he had left his Yorkie Kevin home alone. "Promise me that you won't cut anymore."

"I... I.. I won't... I promise.."

"As much as I hate to do this, I have to go back home. Kevin is home alone and he tends to tear shit up if left alone for too long. I really don't want to leave you alone...but..."

"It's fine, Seth...I'll probably just go to the bar."

"Okay...but don't drive drunk."

"No guarantees, bro."

Seth sighed and left, heading back home.

...

Roman slipped on a long sleeve shirt and some clean jeans, and grabbed his keys, driving to the nearest bar. Once there, he ordered a full bottle of whiskey, and began to chug it down. He felt more tears escape his eyes.

This guy with long sandy blonde hair walked up to Roman, saying, "man...you look rough...tough week?"

"Tough year...6 months ago my husband was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and he passed away from it tonight..."

"Oh shit man... I am so sorry..."

"It's okay... I just wish I had something stronger than alcohol to get rid of this emotional pain..."

"You're talking to the right man then. Name's Tony. Tony Marconi. Let's go out to my car for a minute. I have just the thing you need."

Roman was a bit wary, but he told the bartender that he would be right back. He followed Tony out to his car. "Get in."

Roman did as told, looking around the car. He noticed a pile stuff in the backseat that was covered by a comforter. "Whatchya need?"

"Well...what do you have?"

"I've got Norco, Vicodin, Morphine, meth, marijuana, cocaine, LSD, ecstasy."

"Price?"

"Well, considering that you've had a rough night, I will give you all you want for free, just this one time. Future times, you have to pay, just like everyone else."

"I'll take 20 of each painkiller. And some meth and cocaine too, please."

"Do you need some needles for them?"

"Yes please."

Tony gave Roman the requested items and said, "Here's my number. Call me when you need more." he handed Roman a business card with his phone number on it.

"Thanks man.."

"No problem. Take it easy."

"I'll try..."

Roman got out of the car, and went to his own car. Putting everything in the trunk except for the cocaine, he then went to the front and sat down. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed a needle and shot up, then throwing the needle in the backseat. He locked up the car, and went back in the bar, sitting where he sat before. He continued to chug his whiskey until he felt a mixture of being drunk and high. When he finished the bottle, the bartender snatched it from him, saying, "You've had enough. Out of my bar."

"Yesh sir..." Roman slurred as he threw some money on the bar. He then left the bar, and drove home, surprisingly making it home safe. He ran up to his room, and laid in the bed as he grabbed a picture of Dean off the nightstand. He kissed the picture then let it fall to the floor as he passed out from the cocaine and alcohol in his system.

 ** _A/N: it kinda sucks but hopefully will get better._**


End file.
